Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1R (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Several lines were rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Sgt. Frog Abridged Episode 1 Script Line 101 - Narrator: In the skies above the quiet suburbs of modern-day Japan, evil was plotting destruction. Golden Saucers parted the clouds, and an alien race presented itself to Earth with a blast of fire and chaos. The first UFO opened to reveal that an alien monster had fallen out of the ship. Line 102 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE! Line 103 - Narrator: The hell? Is that right? Oh, THIS is the script, ok… Line 104 - Narrator: *Ahem* Line 105 - Narrator: In a quiet Japanese suburb, an alien frog tripped over a vacuum cleaner. Line 106 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE! Line 107 - Narrator: What… *Cue Intro* *Fuyuki has a weird dream about alien frogs trying to conquer the earth and then he wakes up.* Line 108 - Fuyuki: AHHHH! NOCTURNAL EMISSION!!! *Natsumi stares at him* Line 109 - Fuyuki: Oh hey Natsumi are you hard for murder too? Line 110 - Natsumi: For the last time no! Now get out of bed, its time for school! Line 111 - Fuyuki: Gimme five more minutes I’ll be dry by then. Line 112 - Natsumi: (We’ll see about that…) LOOK RULE 34! Line 113 - Fuyuki: WHERE!?!? DOES IT HAVE KONATA? *The wallpaper starts to peel off* Line 114 - Kids: Huh? Line 115 - Keroro: Konata….that….is……HOT! *They stare at each other for a while* Line 116 - Keroro: While I appreciate you pekoponians taste for Lolita, I’m afraid I have to- *Five seconds later* Line 117 - Keroro: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK! Line 118 - Natsumi: So what do we do with it? Line 119 - Fuyuki: Let’s eat its legs and watch it dance! Line 120 - Keroro: Gero!? Line 121 - Natsumi: No we can’t, we’re going to be late for school! Line 122 - Fuyuki: At least I can get dressed quickly! RUN! *Keroro is left alone, tied to the ceiling* Line 123 - Keroro: Gerogerogero, I…..have….the Po-Huoagh! *Keroro spazzes out for a bit and the rope breaks* Line 124 - Keroro: GerogerogerogerogeroGerogerogerogerogero…….Wheres my Kero Ball!? Line 125 - Keroro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Cuts straight to kids* Line 126 - Fuyuki: Oh man I can’t wait to see what this does! *Fuyuki presses a button* Line 127 - Fuyuki: Huh? Whats 4Chan? *Fuyuki presses another button* Line 128 - Robotic Voice: Anti-Gravity Mo-fo. *Fuyuki presses another button* Line 129 - Fuyuki: Oh boy a gift card! *Fuyuki looks at the gift card* Line 130 - Fuyuki: Todd’s Toilets… *Fuyuki presses another button and it makes an alarming sound shouting Fuck All Ya’ll! This causes headquarters to retreat.* *Fuyuki presses another button that has Dan Green saying “Hi I’m Dan Green.” Then it cuts to Natsumi immediately.* Line 131 - Lesbo #1: Exfoliate your back my love? Line 132 - Natsumi: What? Line 133 - Lesbo #2: Can you exfoliate my back Natsumi? Line 134 - Natsumi: No I only exfoliate for cute boys. *Lesbo #1 has a very sad face* *The scene cuts to Natsumi running back home and she sees Saburo* Line 135 - Natsumi: (He still hasn’t bathed yet, what a rebel!) Line 136 - *Saburo looks up and thinks “Rape Face” Natsumi blushes and runs off.* Line 137 - Narrator: Well it looks like it won’t be rape after all! *Natsumi runs back to the screen* Line 138 - Natsumi: Hey I’m only hot for consensual sex! Line 139 - Narrator: That poor girl is in denial, nobody is hot for consensual sex! Line 140 - *She gets home opens the door and takes a step, she is suddenly hanging upside down and screams.* Line 141 - Natsumi: What did I just get done saying!? Line 142 - Keroro: Gerogerogero! Line 143 - Natsumi: Stupid fucking frog! This is not one of those hentais where the girl is helpless! Hell, this isn’t a hentai at all!…Why did I say that!? Line 144 - Keroro: Well I know a certain frog who would love this situation, but now its time for my little friend the R-A-E-P squid! The male model! I’m not really sure what R-A-E-P means but I’m sure as hell going to use it on you! *A little note that says with a ding, Rule 34 Allows Endless Penetration* *Keroro almost attacks Natsumi with the squid but gets Gattling Gun’d in the face.* Line 145 - Natsumi: Oh Fuyuki thank god! How are you floating like that? Line 146 - *Fuyuki goes into a techno babble.* Line 147 - Keroro: Is he always like this? Line 148 - Natsumi: Yeah unfortunately, you should see how he acts after he watches Mobile Suit Gundam G. Line 149 - Keroro: Oh yeah! I like that show! Line 150 - Fuyuki: And that’s how I got my first period! *Fuyuki lets Natsumi down and Keroro throws two snakes that wrap around the kids. Keroro takes the Kero Ball away from Fuyuki* Line 151 - Keroro: Gimme that you idiot! Gerogerogerogero… I’m not the only one on this frogulon forsaken planet! Line 152 - Natsumi: That name sucks! Line 153 - Keroro: There are four more soldiers in my platoon! One is a pedophile veteran, one is a sex…offender or something I don’t know, one is a mad scientist, and the other is a crazy ass assassin! Line 154 - Fuyuki: Oh my god Mom came in! Line 155 - Keroro: Oooowhat? Oh my god the boobies! *Aki grabs Keroro and presses him against her breasts.* Line 156 - Aki: Oh dear god... He is sooo cute! I must have him for my new manga because for some reason I have to come up with a new character before next week and this frog will do. Line 157 - Keroro: As much as I appreciate your E-Cup breasts, you’re suffocating me…bleh. Line 158 - Fuyuki: Is he alright? Line 159 - Aki: Its ok kids! I can do CPR with my breasts! *Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky* Line 160 - Keroro: GASP! Huh boobs? Am I in heaven? Line 161 - Fuyuki: No don’t develop an attraction to my mom! I want to be your friennnnnnnnd! *Keroro jumps out of Aki’s breasts while leaving something green behind and lands on Fuyuki* Line 162 - Keroro: Friennnnnnnndship!.....Nah just kidding! I’m totally gonna enslave you all hahahaha! Huh? Oh hey hang I got a call from HQ. *Beep* Line 163 - HQ: Hey SARGE we got your Fuck All Ya’ll from earlier, yeah we know when we’re not wanted. We’re out of here later! Alleoupah! *Boom* Line 164 - Keroro: So where do I sleep? Line 165 - *Credits, Todd’s Toilets ad with fan-kerons* Line 166 - Giroro: Dude, I’m not even in this episode and I’m already being made fun of… category:Episode Scripts